外貿(mào)實戰(zhàn)郵件案例分析

案例1

Dear sirs:

From the internet, we get your company name. What I want is just to see that if we have the chance to cooperation in the near

future or not.

We are a factory of fiberglass in China and our main product is chopped strand mat (CSM) and stitchchopped strand mat and etc.

We have been in the field for many years. I can give you the CSM in very competitive price and higher quality. If you need more information, please go to our website: http://www.fiberglassproducer.com

I wonder if you need this product; if you are interested in our products, please kindly return this mail.

Maybe now you have regular business partner。if so，please leave my message in your email box，maybe someday it will be useful。

If you need the price to compare with your partner gives, welcome!

Yours sincerely Jack

RE:1)文字太長，很難掃一眼就看明白，至少要花 10 多秒鐘時間來看。而一般老外看郵件通常就是 3秒掃一眼， 然后決定郵件的命運?？梢园阉鼊h減一下，突出重點就可以了。

2)From the internet 這句不好，給客人感覺你就像是個搞推銷的。其實你沒收到客人主動的詢盤，開發(fā)信最好 寫的“ 含糊” 一點，不要說“ 我從哪里哪里得到你的信息” ，這點和外貿(mào)函電課本上是完全相反的!請大家千萬要 注意!很多客人對推銷信很反感，因為他每天都收到各種騷擾，實在不勝其煩。最好一開始給客人一種模棱兩可的 感覺，他也記不起來究竟是以前問你詢過價呢，還是展會上有見過你。所以“From the internet, we get your

company name. ”類似的話千萬不要說!說了反而會有反效果。

可以這樣寫:"We'regladtohearthatyou'reonthemarketfor..."， ---我們很高興獲悉你對某某產(chǎn)品有 興趣。

這是不是好很多呢?客人會想，我是不是 B2B上問他詢過價?還是今年或去年哪次展會上見過這家伙?只要你切中 要害，他回復(fù)你了，那目的就達到了!等到你們來來回回聯(lián)系很多次了，客人知道你僅僅是在網(wǎng)上搜到他的聯(lián)系方 式，也不會那么防備和介意了。對吧?

3)公司介紹太多，最好一筆帶過。客人不會有太大興趣去看的。只有等他對你的產(chǎn)品，價格各方面都有興趣，他 才會要了解一下你們是什么樣的公司，什么規(guī)模之類的。

4)很多很多多余的話可以刪掉的。比如說“ 我知道你有老供應(yīng)商，但請你保留我的郵件，也許你有一天用得上......” 這類的話都可以刪掉。即使你寫了，他想刪掉，你也不能控制啊。最好的辦法就是什么都不寫，但是讓他有那么一 刻的猶豫，是不是先存一下這封郵件。這就是你字里行間需要把握的地方!

5 )最后一句話是全文里面最不好的一句“If you need the price to compare with your partner gives, welcome!”。我知道你想表達的意思是，我這邊價格很好的，非常歡迎您和別的供應(yīng)商比較價格。你想告訴客人的 是， 你的價格很有優(yōu)勢，不怕比較。但是給客人理解起來，就是完全另外一種味道了。

這是中國文化和西方文化之間的差異，西方人看來，這句話有惡意貶低他人的嫌疑。而且一分錢一分貨的道理他們 是知道的。專業(yè)的客人和大買家都不會在一開始隨便談?wù)搩r格，聰明的 sales也不會在一開始談?wù)搩r格，只有當你 把所有問題都搞清楚了，最后談價格，成交率會大大提高。如果有朋友讀過 RogerDawson寫的“ Secrets of Power Negotiating ”，就知道怎樣跟客人談價格了。這是題外話，我以后如果寫一篇如何跟客人談價格有關(guān)的文章，會 詳細論述的。

如果你這個客人正巧做的是中高端市場，你這句話讓他一看，就會覺得你賣的東西是 cheap item，不是他的 style， 那就畫 蛇添足了。更何況這句話有點拽，讓人讀上去的第一感覺不太舒服。要突出自己的價格優(yōu)勢沒錯，但最好不 要這么 直接，旁敲側(cè)擊讓他明白，反而效果更好，不信的話可以試一下哦。

這是我改的，你試著和你原來的開發(fā)信比較一下，是不是大大減肥了?

Hi Sir,

Glad to hear that you're on the market for fiberglass. We specialize in this field for several years, with the strength of chopped strand mat and stitch chopped strand mat, with good quality and pretty competitiveprice.

Should you have any questions, pls do not hesitate to contact me. FREE SAMPLES will be sent for your evaluation!

Tks & br,

Jack

**** company (這里留下公司名、電話、傳真、郵件就可以了，正文就可以寫的很簡單。) Tel: ***

Fax: *** Mail: ***

Website: ****** (請記住，如果你非要在里面加上網(wǎng)頁鏈接，請放在簽名里，不要放正文，讓人感覺更像搞推銷的， 不太好。)

一開始開門見山指出，很高興獲悉您對某某產(chǎn)品感興趣，我們專業(yè)生產(chǎn)這類產(chǎn)品多年，優(yōu)勢在于什么地方，質(zhì)量好， 價格相當有競爭力。這樣就已經(jīng)把要表達的意思表達出來了。

第二段就是兩句話，有問題隨時聯(lián)系我，免費樣品隨時會寄來供您測試!既表達了你想要合作的愿望，又表示了自 己的誠意，只要您有需要，我們隨時為您服務(wù)。這樣寫的就給人感覺不卑不亢，既沒有顯得很拽，也沒有在老外面 前矮一截。大家是平等的關(guān)系，本來就是相互的合作，找機會爭取雙贏。這點反而會讓西方人比較贊賞。

不是說價格低就能贏得訂單的，真正拿到 order是綜合性的考量，價格是重要的一方面，但不是完全的。除了有少 部 分只看價格的客人除外。

Q:老師您改的一級棒!言辭相當簡潔!我把您改正后的開發(fā)信與我原來的一比，頓時覺得我的開發(fā)信簡直是又臭 又長，現(xiàn)在回頭看看連自己都覺得看著別扭了!呵呵，在此非常感謝您對我的開發(fā)信的修改!非常感謝!我現(xiàn)在已 用樓主為我改的開發(fā)信模板發(fā)了!

最后一個問題請教下: 您為我改過后的這一句:We specialize in this field for several years, with the strength of ......這里的 with the strength of 是什么意思? 翻譯成漢語是不是:我們在此行業(yè)做了很多年，對......有著強勢 的(優(yōu)勢)?

RE:"with the strength of ...", 指的是“我們的優(yōu)勢在于......”，突出自己的優(yōu)勢所在。我個人覺得，對于客人來說，

他為什么要跟你合作?你拿什么去說服他?你必須得突出你的優(yōu)勢所在!這個優(yōu)勢可以是產(chǎn)品，可以是價格，可以 是服務(wù)，只要是你可以想到的，你有的別人沒的，或者別人很難做到的。這就是你的優(yōu)勢!我試著造幾個句子，大 家體會一下:

We manufacture plastic items for several years, with the strength of storage box, promotional items, travelling bottles, etc.

我們生產(chǎn)塑料產(chǎn)品多年，在儲物盒、促銷品、旅行水壺等方面有優(yōu)勢。(這里面，你的優(yōu)勢指的是產(chǎn)品，因為前面

已經(jīng)提到了我們生產(chǎn)塑料產(chǎn)品，很顯然后面的幾類產(chǎn)品是塑料做的，讓客人一下子就明白，你們工廠的主線產(chǎn)品是

什么!)

再看一句:

We supply plastic items to US for several years, with the strength of cooperating with big customers, such as Wal-mart, Target, Home Depot, etc.

我們的塑料產(chǎn)品供美國市場多年，有和大買家合作的經(jīng)驗，比如***(這里的優(yōu)勢指的是經(jīng)驗和能力。) 案例 2

看了你的分析，受益匪淺，下面是我的一封開發(fā)信，你能幫我看看，有什么問題么?為什么那些外國佬都不回我呢?

Dear Mr. Mukund Kamath,

I know you as Ideal Icecream from indiamart. You company looks fabulous. It is grateful to know you.

As you are in the line of ice cream, and you have the processes of homogenization and refrigeration, so homogenizers and ice cream freezing machine are necessary for you.

And coincidently, we can provide various types of homogenizers and ice cream freezing machine for you. Enclosed is the catalog, please check it. If our products meet your need, please tell me the type then I can give you more details, if not, please give me some suggestions about our machines. Thank you very much.

Best regards,

那個均質(zhì)機的確比較特殊，這個行業(yè)我不懂，只能盡量幫你改一下郵件了:

Dear Mr. Mukund Kamath,

Glad to get your contact info from Indiamart!

We supply homogenizers and ice cream freezing machine with good quality and very competitive price. Hope to be a partner of your company!

E-catalog will be provided if needed.

Email me or just call me directly. Thank you!

Best regards,

Mandy

******Co., Ltd.

Add: ***

Tel: ***

Fax: ***

Mail: ***

Web: ***

這樣是不是簡潔很多了?而且你要表達的東西，我上面的幾句話全部表達出來了。fabulous, coincidently這類詞不 要用。郵件一定要簡單，明白，通俗易懂，連老外的小學生都看得懂。

案例3 老哥，這是我剛寫給英國商人的一個開發(fā)信，能指教一下嗎?是不是太長了?

Hi Sir or Madam who concerns:

Thanks for your concerns,we learn your company who is a leading retailer of contemporary and traditional bathrooms.

Our company is specialized in cast iron bathtubs for 17 years.Our company adopted ISO 9001 quality management standards and ISO 14001 Environmental Management Standard.

Some pictures in the attachment ,and I recommend you which are luxury bathtubs NH-1007/NH-1008 and simple cast iron bathtub NH-008 Danli.

Should you have any questions, pls do not hesitate to contact me.

Best regars

我簡單地改了一下，你看看哦:

Dear sir,

Glad to hear that you're the leading retailer of bathrooms! We specialize in cast iron bathtubs for 17 years, and hope to find a way to cooperate with you!

Attached some pictures for your review. Please contact me if any questions.

Thanks and best regards, ***

你還是寫得太長了，能用 1個詞絕對不用兩個，能用 1句話寫清楚就絕不用兩句，寫郵件要惜字如金啊! 案例4

Dear Puchaing Manager:

We get to konw that you required the 11/0.4 kV (250) KVA transformer before,Do you still needit?

As an exporter and manufacturer--Sunel Transformer Co.,Ltd. ,mainly specialize in dry type transformer and super-high voltage transformer. Main products include resin cast dry transformer、 nomex insulated dry transformer、 110KV/220KV station power transformer as well as custom-made transformer etc. Among our main customers are world famous companies such as Japanese YASKAWA and FUJI, German HANSEN and SIEMENS, French SCHNEIDER. Also we are ISO9001，PCCC and CTQC certified and could provide the items with a competitive price.

The enclosed is some of our items you maybe interested in. Warmly welcome to visit our web to get more info:http://www.suneltrans.com/.Pls kindly check them. And if you have any questions, feel free to contact us.Hope to establish business relations with your corporation.

Pls reply asap so we can make you our firm offer as per your detailed requirements. Looking forward toyour prompt reply. Thanks in advance.

不錯不錯，你是我看到的幾封開發(fā)信里面寫得最好的了!可以不用改。怪不得是 export manager啊，哈哈~

我想指出一點的是，老外更在意的，并不是你工廠的 ISO9001 之類的東西，這些都是虛的。如果你是一個不錯的 工廠，被哪些大客人驗過廠，比 ISO 重要 100倍!

如果你通過 BSCI 驗廠，或者 Disney 驗廠，或者 Wal-mart 驗廠，那就把這句寫上去!

如:We already passed the factory audit from BSCI, with the scores *** (BSCI 驗廠是有分數(shù)的，而且德國 Lidl指 定 BSCI 驗的，如果你分數(shù)還不錯，說明你的產(chǎn)品已經(jīng)能進德國主流市場了。相比之下，BV 和 SGS 之類的就稍 微弱 一點點。)

又如:We're the supplier of Wal-mart, and already passed the FE from them. 案例 5

哇冰大好厲害啊，值得讓我這個新人學習啊，剛開始接觸這一行，什么都不會，我也想得到指導(dǎo)···· 下面是我從展會回來的開發(fā)信，希望樓主幫我修改指點一下，小女子感激萬分啊~

Dear Alex:

How are you ? I sincerely everything goes well with you.

My name is Sandy who have your name card at the 2010 HongKong Electronic Fair .We have availed ourselves of this opportunity to wite you in the hope of establishing business relations with you.

Our company is a factory whic specialied in Parking Sensor System from China. We operate in accordance with ISO9001:2000 standards,which No.is 01 100056417 issued by TUV

Germany,and our products (LED , VFD ,LCD, TFT series and License frame series) are CE,FCC,FCCID approved. I remember that you were interested in our Fun Mini DVR at the 2010 Hk Electronic Fair . Please feel free to contact me if you want to know more about it,and I will be so peasured to send the details to you. Attach some pictures of DVR as follows:

Also you can get more imformation from our website : http://www.mr-parking.cn Your early reply will be our highly appreciated.

Best regards,

Sandy

Sales assistant

我?guī)湍愀囊幌拢懵聊プ聊タ?，多寫多練，就會寫得比我好?

Hi Alex,

How are you doing? Glad to get your name card from HK fair.

This is Sandy from ***. We specialized in parking sensor system, and all our products with CE/FCC/FCCID approved!

Regarding the FUN MINI DVR your selected on the fair, pls find the details with best offer in attachment. Hope to get good news from you! Thanks.

Best regards,

Sandy

Sales assistant

我要說一點，你的情況和其他朋友又不一樣了。你在展會上拿到過客人的名片，而且客人曾經(jīng)對某一款產(chǎn)品感興趣， 那簡直是一個相當好的機會!只要你把握住了，成交可能性是很大的!這種情況下，你特別要標注出他在展會上選 的東西，而且主動提供詳細資料和報價，這一點至關(guān)重要。

客人很忙的，他可能在香港展上去過很多同行那邊，問同一個產(chǎn)品，他會收到很多很多郵件，恐怕根本沒空回復(fù)或 主動聯(lián)系你，所以你一定要主動出擊，提供完整的資料和好的價格，然后跟進，贏得他的信任!如果像你剛才那樣， 問他是不是有興趣，有興趣你會給他詳細資料，客人會覺得很煩的，覺得你怎么需要推一下動一下，做業(yè)務(wù)要學會 主動，客人一個眼色，你就要能完成三四個動作?？腿藛柲銉r格，你連詳細參數(shù)尺寸包裝材料都一并提供了?？腿?問你說明書，你連設(shè)計稿和文字都完整無誤地給他參考?？腿诵枰屎?，你不止給了他圖片，還有準確尺寸的刀模 圖，連別的客人的彩盒也一并給他做設(shè)計參考。你說，客人是不是會對你印象很好?

案例6 樓主，我有一封開發(fā)信，請你幫我改改，謝啦!

Re: selling the festival supplies

Dear Sirs or Madam,

We know your information from international internet in April, 2010. Now, I’m writing to you to see if there is a chance to establish a business relationship with you.

When you have a good time with your relatives or friends during the festival，do you want to share the festival mood with them? Then you can try our products, the confetti cannon, the party popper, and party mask and so on. We, the Yongkang Kaixin Arts&Crafts.,ltd, are one of the largest festival supplies manufacturers inChina.

Our company was founded in 2000, specialized in manufacturing festival supplies to add the happiness of festivals, such as the confetti popper, the streamer by hand-actuated, the snow spray and so on. Our product hold high reputation by the clients in the world wide with the high quality and favorable price.

If you are interesting in our product, please let us know immediately and we will send the details of our products. We look forward to your early reply.

Best regards,

Rectina Wong

坦白說，郵件里面千萬不要出現(xiàn)感性的句子，所以諸如"When you have a good time with

your relatives or friends during the festival，do you want to share the festival mood with them? Then you can try our products, the confetti cannon, the party popper, and party mask and so on." 這些話就可以直接刪掉了。還有 后面我們的 產(chǎn)品贏得良好口碑之類的話也不用講，第一你沒法向客人證明，老外喜歡用數(shù)字和證書之類的實際來說 話，任何提 不出有力證據(jù)支撐的話他們是不會信的。還不如說一句我們產(chǎn)品不錯，價格公道就可以了。

另外開頭寫的太長了，而且這兩句話的確沒什么意義。我?guī)湍愀牧艘幌驴纯?

Dear sir or madam,

Glad to write to you!

We, Yongkang Kaixin Arts & Crafts Co., Ltd., is one of the biggest festival item manufacturers in China! Our company was founded in 2000, specialized in manufacturing festival supplies to add the happiness of festivals, such as the confetti popper, the streamer by hand-actuated, the snow spray and so on. If any item meets your interest, pls keep me posted! Offer sheet will be sent to you at once!

If any reply, that will be appreciated. Thanks.

Kind regards,

Rectina Wong

呵呵，Wong 這個拼寫很有意思啊，似乎只有香港人會這么拼哦。如果是“ 王” ，大陸拼寫是 Wang，香港拼成 Wong; 如果是“ 黃” ，大陸拼寫是 Huang，香港拼成 Won。

案例6 請指正:

Hi, purchasing manager.

Good day!

We are XXXX supplier,and we have researched & designed some new product. If you are interested in, I 'll send you our catalogue.

Thanks for your valuable time.

Regards.

Yours,

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- XXX(Ms) compnay name

Website:www

ADD:XXXXXX

TEL:+86 XXXXX FAX:+86 XXXXX

不錯，你這樣寫就很到位了，簡單，清楚，明白

基本上沒回復(fù)時，我會繼續(xù)跟進，因為我們占有價格優(yōu)勢，所以跟進內(nèi)容是:

Dear purchasing manager.

Sorry to bother you again.

Pls take a look at the attachment which is the catalogue of our DVR cards including price for your reference. Hope this will help you.

Any question will be appreciated.

Regards.

Yours,

XXX(Ms) compnay name Website:www ADD:XXXXXX TEL:+86 XXXXX FAX:+86 XXXXX

不知道內(nèi)容夠不夠正確。

可以再簡單一點:

Hi sir,

Sorry for re-troubling!

Regarding our hot-selling DVR cards, attached the E-catalogue with offer for your review. Any questions, that will be much appreciated! Thanks.

Kind regards, ***

其實 email 這東西一定要自學的，每個人寫的句子、習慣和喜歡用的詞匯都不一樣的。只有自己慢慢去摸索，去 琢 磨老外寫的郵件。一旦你的思路和寫作習慣定下來了，很難去改變的，一定要有意識地強迫自己去改，寫完 email 的時候一遍一遍反復(fù)看，反復(fù)改，改到?jīng)]有單詞可以刪為止。

案例7

你幫我看看我寫的這份開發(fā)信，希望能得到你的指教，tks in advance.

Hi Chris,

Glad to hear that you are on the market for stainless steel spinning parts.

xxxCo.Ltd is professional at precision machining for nearlly 10 years ,our products covering highprecision machining parts , casting , metal parts , etc. i writing this message of hoping to establish the business relationship with you in the near feture.

For more information, pls visit our wedsite as follows: www.xxx.com.

Any comments , pls don't hesitate to keep us informed. Thanks in advance.

Best regards. Yours

xxxx

xxx Co., Ltd.

TEL: FAX: Email: Website

其實你英文應(yīng)該不錯的，我覺得。郵件基本沒有問題，只是還可以稍微減減肥。我試著幫你改一下，你看看，有什 么差別:

Hi Chris,

Glad to hear that you are on the market for stainless steel spinning parts.

We, xxx Co. Ltd, is professional in precision machining for nearlly 10 years, covering high precision machining parts, casting parts, metal parts, etc. Hope to establish business relationship with you!

Should you wanna know more about our company, pls visit www.xxx.com. Any comments, that'll be appreciated! Thanks.

Best regards, xxxx

xxx Co., Ltd.

TEL: FAX: Email:

案例8 在環(huán)球里面收到的很多詢盤都是這樣的:

Buyer's message:

I am interested in your product(s).

像這下類詢盤沒有具體說是要哪一種產(chǎn)品，也同更詳細的目的，這一類簡單的詢盤該怎么回呢?我是這樣回的，您 看可以嗎?請指正，謝謝!!!

Dear Mr***

Thanks for your inquiry on global http://source.com

We are a professional LED products manufacture with many years experiences in China, offering all kinds ofLED products and monthly output up to 50 millions pieces, and selling LEDs and LED products all over theworld.

The details for the our product ,please kindly find the attachment .Thank you! Your

sincerely

Janeson

然后附一個產(chǎn)品目錄!您看這樣行嗎?

你的電郵寫得可以了，不需要改，只要你把格式注意一下，盡量全部用“ 平頭式” ，因為目前國際上最流行就是這 種。Yours sincerely 這類的，以前書信里有，現(xiàn)在也不用了，基本都是 regards，或者 best regards，用得比較 多。

案例9 你好，附上我的開發(fā)信，煩請幫忙修改一下!謝謝啦!

RE:Wheel balancer and Tyre changer

Yingkou AoWei Automobile Maintenance Technology Co.,Ltd.

Dear Purchasing Manager:

Good morning my friend

Thanks for your time to read my Email

Glad to know you are in market of Wheel balancer and Tyre changer. We are a manufacture of Wheel balancer and Tyre changer

Would you mind visiting our website: www.yktld.com.

Wish our products will be helpful for your business

Any questions,Welcome here

Best Regards

Karen

Yours faithfully

你的郵件重復(fù)性太高。我不知道你的 RE:Wheel balancer and Tyre changer 是主題呢，還是寫在正文里的?類似 的話 你的郵件里總共出現(xiàn)了三遍，太多了哦!根據(jù)英語寫作的慣例，同樣的名詞、形容詞、副詞、詞組、句型等 等，一

般只能在一篇文章里出現(xiàn)一次，絕對不能出現(xiàn)兩次的!除非是萬不得已的情況下。就像四六級考試，你如果作文想 拿滿分，或者是只扣 1分的情況下，就必須做到這一點，不重復(fù)!

寫郵件也是一樣的，同樣的話出現(xiàn)幾遍，是很不正常的，老外會覺得別扭。你可以仔細研究一下客人的郵件，很少 用通篇用一兩種句型的，形容詞也會經(jīng)常變化，同一個詞一般不會用兩遍，除非是特別強調(diào)的情況下。

所以通篇都是 We'll..., We're...這樣的句型只有我們才會寫，老外是不會這樣寫的。必須要糾正過來!要用客人的 思 維去寫郵件。同樣一句話，我們會盡快寄你樣品，很多人會寫 We'll send you the samples asap. 但是比較好的 寫法應(yīng) 該是 Samples will be sent to you asap.

又比如 product 這個詞，一旦你郵件里已經(jīng)提到“ 我們的產(chǎn)品” 這類話，用 our products，那下面如果還需要表達 “ 產(chǎn) 品” 這個詞，那就盡量別再用 product 了，用 item，或者 model，或者 the ones 等等來代替上文中提到的，總 之用詞 不能重復(fù)。

中國人還有個習慣，郵件里喜歡用 very 這個詞來表示程度。東西很好是 very good，價格很便宜是 very cheap，表 示 很高興收到郵件是 very glad to receive your mail，等等。同樣 very 這個程度副詞也只能在郵件里出現(xiàn)一次 的!需要第二次表示“非?！边@個意思，可以用“pretty”， “extremely”，“highly”，“byfar”等等，盡量表 達要多樣 化，意思準確，但是語言不枯燥。

我?guī)湍愀牧烁泥]件，你看一下哦。good morning 就不必了，你們不熟，以后熟了再說。Thanks for your time to read mymail 也不用了，因為他看不看你現(xiàn)在也不知道，如果沒看，直接刪了，你就白 thank 了。如果他看了，并回復(fù) 了， 你再 thank 也不遲哦~另外格式需要規(guī)劃一下，并空行，段落和段落之間必須條理清楚。比如第二段肯定要 比第一 段和第三段多，否則會頭重腳輕，或者是看起來整體不協(xié)調(diào)。

Dear Purchasing Manager:

Glad to hear that you are on the market for Wheel balancer and Tyre changer.

We are the manufacturer of the items above. Pls visit our website to know more about us: www.yktld.com. kindly contact me if any questions. It is our pleasure to be on service of you! Thanks and best regards,

Karen

Sales representative

****** Co., Ltd.

Add: ******, ******, ******, P.R.China Tel:

******

Fax: ****** Mail: ****** Web: ******

你仔細分析一下我寫的，沒有一個句型是重復(fù)的!而且都是短句，不羅嗦。段落和段落之間要分清楚，第一段和第 三段永遠要少于第二段的文字!把簽名補充完整，就差不多了。

案例 10 我是外貿(mào)菜鳥，寫了篇弱弱的開發(fā)信，請批評指教:

Dear friend,

Wish you have a nice day,

Glad to hear that you’re in the market of plastic pipe,we are the manufacture of plastic machinery in China, Our products had adopted ISO9001:2000 and CE Quality System Authorities.

Our products are exported to the whole world with good quality and competitive price,and can meet the needs of different levels,We also send the technicians to debug Machine

If you have any question ,please don’t hesitate to contact me,you’re welcome anytime

Warm regard

把多余的話去掉，盡量簡潔一點，段落之間清楚就可以了:

Dear sir,

Glad to hear that you're on the market for plastic pipe! We're the manufacturer of plastic machinery in China, and all of our items according to CE standard.

Contact me, if you have interest! Technical info will be passed asap. Kind regards,

案例 11

下面是我修改了的開發(fā)信，我感覺還是太長了，希望能幫忙看看，非常感謝。

Dear Sir or Madam, Have a nice day!

Glad to hear that you are in the market of ..., Our company, Wuxi Baolai Batteries Co., Ltd, is a professional manufacturer that supply many kinds of batteries. Please you kindly refer to the following information,

Products: Alkaline Batteries, Primary Batteries, Heavy Duty Batteries, Carbon Zinc Batteries, OEMBatteries Characters: Mercury free, cadmium free, lead free, green for the environment.

Model: LR20, LR14, 6LR61, LR6, LR03, R20P, R14P, 6F22, R6, R03，Ni-Mh Batteries, Li-on Batteries etc.

Certificates: CE, ISO9001, SGS, ROHS etc. Packing: Blister card Packing and Shrinking Packing Tel:

Fax:

Mobile:

MSN:

E-mail:

Skype:

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you are interested in our products. We look forward to your kind reply.

Best regards， Amy Hua

你說的對，的確還是太長了，可以再減減肥~~ Dear Sir or Madam,

Glad to hear that you're on the market for consumer battery. We, Wuxi Baolai Batteries Co. Ltd., are a professional manufacturer for batteries. Such as alkaline, super heavy duty, carbon zinc, lithium, Ni-MH rechageable, etc.

All items are according to IEC standard! OEM and ODM are acceptable.

Please contact me if any questions. Sincerely hope to find a way to cooperate with your esteemed company! Thanks & best regards,

Amy Hua

Wuxi Baolai Batteries Co. Ltd. Tel: ***

Fax: *** Mail:

***

案例 12:

麻煩樓主幫忙修改下，看看我的開發(fā)信有什么問題

Dear sir,

Hello,my friend.

this is adeline from guangzhou shunyuan medical technology co.,ltd. we have meet today in the dental show.we would like to enter business relationship with you.we are the manufacturer that specilize in producing dental unit,dental compressor,LED curing light and the related products.

Our products are good seller in the workmarket for their excellent quality and reasonable price.we are always insist on that quality is the first.and I know youinterested in the style of SY8068 and SY6068,these products are excellent.the chair use the real leather,and noiseless motor.rotatable cimera cuspidor.sensation operationlamb.

the attachment is the price and more details for these products.please check. Best regards

Xxxx Tel:xxxx

你既然是在展會上見過客人，第一句話就必須提到!否則客人看了抬頭和第一二句，就會覺得又是一個推銷的，立 馬刪掉!一定要把最重要的放在最醒目的位置:

Dear sir,

Glad to meet you in the DENTAL SHOW! This is Adeline from Guangzhou Shunyuan Medical Technology Co., Ltd., who

specialize in manufacturing dental unit, dental compressor, LED curing light and some related items.

All of our items are with excellent quality and reasonable price! Hope to enter business with you! Enclosed the offer sheet with some hot items for your review. Pls kindly check and revert at your earlist! Thanks and best regards,

Adeline,

Guangzhou Shunyuan Medical Technology Co., Ltd. Tel: ***

Fax: *** Mail:

***

字母的大小寫，段落之間的空行一定要注意!你想啊，你連寫郵件的時候連大寫字母的那個 shift鍵都懶得按一下， 你 又如何讓客人從郵件里對你有一個好的第一印象，覺得你是一個仔細、認真且勤快的人?

以前有句話叫字如其人，對于老外來說，他對你的第一印象大多來源于郵件，第一封郵件必須是精益求精的，才能 讓客人對你有一個好的第一印象。老外也是感性的，在他有眾多可以選擇的供應(yīng)商的前提下，他肯定會選一個自己 覺得不錯的人。如果你的郵件一直讓他覺得很舒服，他會很樂意和你聯(lián)系的。

反之，隨便弄一個模板，而且字體格式方面都不怎么注重的，開發(fā)信只能造成石沉大海，或者極低極低的回復(fù)率， 因為你無法給客人這樣的感覺:That's a good guy!

案例 13

我的一個美國客戶，連續(xù)在我們廠里打了幾款樣品，都是通過測試之后再打另一款樣品，3 月初的時候，說樣品全 部通過測試了，要求我們把運費報過去給他(我們一開始報給客人的是出廠價)后來跟進了兩三次之后才回復(fù)，說 剛旅游回來，過兩天開過大會后再給我回復(fù)。

可是這一等又一個月，到現(xiàn)在都沒回復(fù)，其間也發(fā)了兩封郵件跟進，這是我最后發(fā)的一封郵件。請指教一下，我該 怎樣把這個客戶跟進下去

Dear XX,

Hope everything goes well with you !

What about the process of the transformer project ?

Last time you said you will have a meeting ,but no news from you.

Look forward to your early information about ot.

Best Regards !

這種情況其實就是你們彼此間的信息不對稱。表面上樣品通過測試了，你覺得應(yīng)該有訂單，但是客人卻沒有下。你 也不知道真正原因。所以當務(wù)之急，是要弄清楚究竟情況怎么樣，最好是盡量催一下，然后最后可有可無地點一下。 我一般會這樣寫:

Dear ***,

Sorry to trouble you again!

Regarding the project we discussed last time, could you pls confirm by return today? Because we need plenty of time for mass production. P/I will be sent to you asap after your confirmation.

If anything changed, pls keep me posted! Thank you! Best regards,

***

其實你已經(jīng)失去最初的主動了!如果一個客人在跟你談這個項目，樣品也通過測試了，我馬上會第一時間發(fā) PI給 他，不要去問你確不確認訂單，或者需不需要我發(fā)你 PI之類的話。一旦價格談過了，樣品通過了，第一時間就先 傳 PI給他，管他簽不簽?zāi)?。然后你郵件就很好寫了，直接一句話殺過去，Pls sign and confirm our PI by return soon!你也有理由一直催，如果客人不簽，就必須告訴你實際原因了，你已經(jīng)占據(jù)了談判的優(yōu)勢地位。客人就算不回 郵件， 你也可以進一步催，以及打電話~~做業(yè)務(wù)不能總是跟著客人的腳步走，你要盡量引導(dǎo)客人跟著你的思路 走。

案例 14:

你好，我想再問一下，有個客人沒回過我，我在線時遇到他，他說價格太高需要重報，但是我們老板說如果是一級 品完全不可能降了，就按二級品報價給他。我回的郵件

Glad to known your real meaning.

I make the price list again.A big discount on them.

But the quality of them is lower than the original goods. All the goods based on your final decision.

Anticipate your earlier reply.

麻煩你幫我看一下

絕對不能這樣回，郵件里很忌諱出現(xiàn) big discount 這類文字，會讓人感覺到你一開始在坑他，他隨便砍砍價，你 就 來了 big discount。既然如此，那就再接著砍，再讓你做更大的讓步，更多的 discount。到最后逼出你的 rock- bottomprice，再用你的價格去砍你的同行~~

可以這樣處理:

Dear sir,

Pls find the re-checking the price as follows:

1) Super grade, USD***, give you a special discount of 2%

2) A grade, USD***, similar as super grade, but price much more competitive.

Hope we can deal. Thank you!

Rgds, ***

不能讓客人感覺你的余地很大，只要你一降價，客人會不斷壓榨的，你的空間會越來越小，一開始就失去了主動。 最初報價雖然不能報高，但是總有一點空間的。一旦客人嫌高，在申明品質(zhì)和服務(wù)的基礎(chǔ)上略為下降 1-2個點，讓 客人心里舒服了點，同時有了贏得感覺。與此同時給出第二套方案，品質(zhì)略次一點點，但是價格可以下調(diào)。

這樣就把球踢回客人。最差的談判技巧就是，你報一個價格，客人說太貴了，你乖乖降價;客人說還是太貴了，別 人給他價格更好，你痛苦地再次降價;客人最后還是壓價，給你一個目標價，你能接受他就下單。結(jié)果為了拿下訂

單，只有無奈接受。你不能按照這個方向來，我前面很多篇回復(fù)說的很清楚了，你絕對不能按著客人的方向來談判， 你要想辦法引導(dǎo)客人往你設(shè)定好的方向走!

案例 15 樓主，求助!我英國的一個客戶，前幾天給他寄的樣品，查詢快遞顯示已簽收，我發(fā)郵件問他樣品如何，他也沒回

我，茫然中，不知道怎么跟......= Dear ****,

Have a good day !

I think you had received our samples which sent by express,how about it ?doesn't work well?

We want to confirm ,can you reply ?I am looking forward to hearing from your reply. Any questions,please tell me .

Best Regards,

Yours Renee.

MSN:[email protected] ****** Co.Ltd Address: Tel:

Fax:

E-mail: Web:http://

可以寫簡單一點:

Dear ***,

What about the final decision about our samples? We need your comments to go ahead! Thank you!

Kind regards,

Renee

*** Co. Ltd. Tel: *** Fax: *** Mail: *** Web: ***

其實只要不是老客人，郵件里沒必要寫 msn 或 skype 的，客人不會加你的，寫了也白寫。不要問太多，只要催 一

下就可以了，把球踢給他，讓他決定是馬上給你 po呢，還是因為某些原因需要暫時等等。 案 例16

前天收到客人一個詢盤，產(chǎn)品要求寫的非常詳細，同時我也清楚的回復(fù)了，但客人不同意價格，今天收到了一封郵 件，內(nèi)容很簡單:Target is 3.60 USD FOB。我報過去的價格是 4.2FOB shenzhen，注明不包含 ORC，這個價格 已 經(jīng)是低價了，現(xiàn)在我不知道要怎么回復(fù)給客人了呢····

如果你的價格已經(jīng)是底價了，可以給客人兩套方案: 1)維持你原先的價格，產(chǎn)品不變，但是如果客人確認訂單，可以給他一個 special discount，不要讓太多，1個點

差 不多了，最多 2-3個點。但是話一定要說得漂亮，讓他感覺到你是做了很大很大的讓步的。

2)根據(jù)客人的目標價，把產(chǎn)品做改動，想一切可以降低成本的辦法把單價降下來，告訴客人，我們盡量朝他的目 標價靠攏，做如下改動，現(xiàn)在可以做的最低價是***(這個時候最好還是留一點點余地，為下一輪的價格談判留下 空間。)

兩個方案給客人選擇，等他回復(fù)后，再根據(jù)他的反應(yīng)來分析，看如何應(yīng)對。

根據(jù)我的經(jīng)驗，我可以很負責任地告訴你，如果客人在價格問題上跟你談了差不多整整一個月，你至少有 8成把握 拿下訂單。如果談了 3個月，至少 9成把握。如果跟你談了半年，那訂單不出意外就是你的了。所以你要盡可能拉 長談判時間，談判回合越多，你接單可能性就越大~

客人只給了我一句話，在英文表達方面不知道要怎么寫會覺得話說的漂亮呢?我下面這樣寫可行么?

Hi,Dear J

Tks so much fo your kind mail.

Regarding the price. 4.2$ FOB SZ that's our very competitive price .you konw.what you get what you pay for ! but if you can action soon,we will make a special discount for you and changed a little .price is 4.05$ EXWprice. looking for your early reply.

TKS &Regards

好復(fù)雜，我看得實在暈。還是改一下吧:

Dear J,

Thank you for your kind mail!

1) USD4.2 is our best offer, based on FOB Shenzhen.

2) USD4.05 will be EXW price. (我就不明白了，你上面是 FOB價，下面變成出廠價了，沒有可比性啊，怎么讓客 人 覺得你給他 discount了???)

Comments, please. Thank you!

Rgds,

***

案例17

你好，可以幫我看一下回復(fù)客人的詢盤嗎?

Dear **,

How are you,

It's ** from ***.I'm sorry to reply you later. Because just finshed my holiday.

About the paving stone,all sides natural,FOB,XIAMEN 10*10*4~6 cm,** USD/M2

About the detailed size or stones you can decided according to your condition. You can consult me if you have any problems.

Best wishes

樓主可以給我指點下嗎?我最近的回盤都得不到客戶的回復(fù)。。。讓我很費腦筋 稍微做點小改動，sorry 要放前面，句型還可以更簡單一點:

Dear ***,

Sorry for late reply! This is *** from ***, and just back from holiday.

Regarding the paving stone you inquired, please find my offer as below: ******

Please contact me if any further questions. Thank you!

Best regards, ***

案例 18

我們剛從展會回來，我想問一下，這樣寫給來我們展位的客戶可以嗎:

Have a nice day! I am Rechel from DONGGUAN DEWEI WIRE CO., LTD.

I'd like to express my sincerest thanks for your visiting our booth in Shanghai International Exposition (Booth No.T001) and show your interest on our products. I’like to take this opportunity to establish business relationship with you.

With the communication on the trade fair, you asked me to give you the price list on extra-flexible silicone rubber wire, red&black. Since you did not give us the specifications, we've enclosed the quotation sheet to you accordingly. And our MOQ is 3000 meters per each size.

Would you pls tell us the quantity and the specifications you like so as to enable us to offer you our best price? Any questions pls feel free to contact us.

We look forward to hearing from you soon

Rechel，你的郵件太長了，我不用數(shù)也知道，正文肯定超過 60個單詞了。要好好刪減一下，讓客人一眼掃過去，

就知道你郵件在講什么了，一般這個時間最多 3秒。

我平均每天要看 200多封郵件，只要是老外寫的，一眼看過去肯定能基本明白。如果是國內(nèi)供應(yīng)商發(fā)過來，那個看 得是吃力啊，非的從頭開始看完了才知道，這封郵件在講什么，中心是什么。剛才讀你的郵件，第一眼看過去就沒 法完全明白，我也得花上時間一句接一句看下去，我算了一下，差不多需要 15秒。對于客人來說，每天也有上百 封 email 進來，特別是初次聯(lián)系的，或者是推銷信，我很懷疑他是否有耐心，皺著眉頭看個 15秒，又是否會耐著 性子給你回復(fù)?

你看看我改的，我會把你要表達的意思全部表達出來，但是內(nèi)容會精簡很多很多，讓客人一眼掃過去，就基本明白 整封郵件內(nèi)容了:

Dear ***，

Thank you for visiting our booth! This is Rechel from Dongguan Dewei Wire Co., Ltd.

Regarding the price you inquired on EXTRA-FLEXIBLE SILICONE RUBBER WIRE (Red & Black), attached our offer sheet for your reference.

Any further questions, pls contact me freely. Samples will be sent on request. Thanks & best regards,

Rechel

Dongguan Dewei Wire Co., Ltd. Tel: ***

Fax: *** Mail:

***

Have a nice day 這句話其實沒什么必要，畢竟大家都不熟，客人不會有特別的感覺。你的公司名沒必要大寫，因為 真正吸引眼球，讓他一眼通過郵件回想起當初展會上詢價的產(chǎn)品，那才是最重要的!所以整封郵件唯一需要大寫的 地方就是你的“ EXTRA-FLEXIBLE SILICONE RUBBER WIRE (Red & Black)” 。至于顏色為什么要小寫，那是因 為大寫的字母一旦過多，看上去會有視覺疲勞。不過你的品名就那么長，那沒辦法了，后面的顏色就用括號來補充， 小寫就可以了。而且我相信，做硅膠線的，顏色和價格幾乎不會有太大差別的。

至于我在什么什么展會見過你，感謝你來我們展位，我們在展會上談過的什么什么之類的話，都可以省掉了。其實 總的就兩句話可以寫清楚的，感謝您來我們的展位，你詢價的產(chǎn)品請看附件的報價單，后面再加一句，樣品隨時可 以提供，這樣就完全足夠了，不用畫蛇添足。還有，你既然已經(jīng)在附件里加了報價單，那 MOQ根本沒必要寫在郵 件 上，加在報價單里就可以了。

還有，我們非常想和你建立業(yè)務(wù)關(guān)系，這句話我個人覺得也是廢話。如果你不想和他合作，那你報價干嗎?

數(shù)量啊，規(guī)格啊，先可以不問，畢竟你已經(jīng)推薦了你們的產(chǎn)品，要是客人能接受你們的方案，不是更好?你多問了， 客人可能這里要改，那里要改，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)你做不了，要改模具，或者說非常非常麻煩，那又何必呢!他如果有要求， 即便你不問，他也會告訴你的!

我特地數(shù)了下，你的正文 141個單詞，如果按 email 不能超過 60詞的基本規(guī)則來判斷，如果是 BEC 考試，可以給 兩次零分還多嘍，呵呵。我上面總共 49個單詞，就勉強合格了!

我的話可能說得不好聽，但事實就是這個樣子，希望大家能大大平時多看，多寫，盡一切能力提高自己的 email 水 平!!!

案例 19

我給香港客戶昨天發(fā)過去后，他回復(fù)我了今天，好像他的那個客戶也沒回復(fù)他呢也

我該怎么回復(fù)他呢，正準備寫呢。

這是我昨天給他發(fā)的:

Dear Johnny,

Hi,have you received my email dated on 30th April ?How about the comments of the client? Email me or just call me if you have any questions please.

Best regards, Owen

這是他剛才給我回復(fù)的

Dear Owen,

Hi, morning !

Sorry, I still haven't receive any feedback from my client. I will try to urge him what's going on. Once I have any news , I will inform you soon.

Thanks

B. Regards, Johnny

貌似這個香港的中間商也做了時間不短 了，人家的信總是言簡意賅，而且行文比較地道比較美觀，值得學習。

香港人一般都是中間商，需要給客人一定的反應(yīng)時間。沒關(guān)系，不用急的，只要你知道，項目還在進展中，那就可 以了，不管最后是能拿下，還是拿不下，你都需要知道香港那邊的準確消息，從而找到原因!可以簡單地感謝一下

就可以了:

Hi Johnny,

Thank you for your prompt reply!

Please keep me posted for further details.

Kind regards, ***

這樣就行了。

案例 20 我也是好多信出去沒反應(yīng)的呢。

Dear,

We are professional manufacturer of the bamboo flooring,ten years experience of the produce.

We can provide the bamboo flooring which you are selling,the premium quality,and the price,you can believe,is the lowest.Because we are professional.

If you are intrested in our produce,contact me pls.

More informaton,you can see the http://web--www.chinadongma.com

Any qusetion?Contact me pls. Best Regards

Jason

有點問題啊，最低價絕對不要說，會讓老外覺得你夸夸其談，不太牢靠。因為世界上永遠沒有最低，只有更低!郵 件改一下吧:

Dear ***,

We supply bamboo flooring with high quality and low price, with 10 years manufacturing experience!

Please kindly find the pictures with offer in attachment. Any questions, contact me freely. Thank you!

Best regards,

Jason

******Co., Ltd. Tel:

***

Fax: *** Mail:

***

Web: http://www.chinadongma.com

案例 21 我們是一家普通的面料生產(chǎn)公司?，F(xiàn)在遇到這么一個情況。

我需要推廣我們的旗幟面料給澳大利亞的一些公司。我有消息是知道他們有在中國采購旗幟面料。我想打進他們的 市場。

首先我們是比較專業(yè)的做這個面料的，與家樂福，可口可樂，新加坡等發(fā)生過合作。但都是有中間貿(mào)易商的。

這次想主動出擊，直接跟他們求購方發(fā)生合作。

開發(fā)信要寫的好，我個人覺得才會有后續(xù)的聯(lián)系。

希望你能幫助我!

這個是我試寫的 請你幫我修改下，謝謝，

Dear XX

Glad to hear that you're on the market for flag/Banner,We specialize in this field for several years.We supply to Carrefour and Coca-Cola banner fabric, or export to other countries create national flag, ad flag,with good quality and pretty competitive price.

Should you have any questions, pls do not hesitate to contact me. FREE SAMPLES will be sent for your evaluation!

Tks & br,

Haining Boyu Warp Knitting Co., Ltd. Vine Qian

E-mail:

[email protected]

Tel :86-573-87670668 Fax:86-573-87670667

標題怎么寫好?怎么樣才誘人呢?

你郵件可以不用改，但是主題可以這樣寫:

Re: Flag & Banner factory/Coca-Cola, Carrefour supplier/FREE SAMPLES provided!

你根本不用跟客人說你是通過中間商做的，這個問題只有當客人來你們公司了，當面問起，才告訴他。 案 例22

客人詢價后，提供一個圖稿讓我們給他打樣，我根據(jù)客人的圖稿，給了客人很多較好的意見，客人都采納了，但是 今天客人回我一封郵件，內(nèi)容是:

That is great!

The only problem is that my client has already made a decision to use a different factory for prototypes. I would LOVE to work with you though. You have been amazing. I will let you know if I can change my client'smind.

我該怎么回給客人呢?讓客人可以幫我們爭取到這次合作的機會?

回復(fù):

Hi ***,

Thank you soooooo much for your kind mail! I appreciate!

We sincerely hope to find a way to cooperate with you! If your customer would like to place the order to another vendor, that's ok! But if you have another chance in the near future, pls keep me posted! It's my pleasure to be on service of you!

By the way, will you plan to visit China soon? I really hope to have a face-to-face meeting with you! Take care! Hope everything goes well!

Thanks and best regards, ***

既然客人都這么坦白了，自然要謝謝他。但不要表現(xiàn)的緊盯著訂單不放，眼光放長遠一點，讓客人感覺你很大度， 即使這次不下單給你，你也不會不高興，只要他有任何需要，為他服務(wù)是你的榮幸!

只要客人有點感動，以后有合適的機會，還是會想到你的。這時候就大打人情牌好了，郵件稍微長一點也無所謂。 呵呵~

案例 23 如果是寫了開發(fā)信，沒回復(fù)，再寫一封信過去，應(yīng)該怎樣寫比較適合

我拿一個我成交過的開發(fā)信為例:

06年 7月的時候給一個美國客人寫過開發(fā)信，推銷野營燈，結(jié)果石沉大海。當時的郵件是這樣的:

Hi Darren,

Glad to hear that you're in the field of camping products. We, *** Co., Ltd., are professional in exporting lighting items to US.

Here enclosed some of our items for your reference. Please contact me for further details. Thanks and best regards,

C

發(fā)出去以后一點反應(yīng)都沒有。差不多 10多天以后我跟了一封郵件: Hi Darren,

Me again, C. Did you already receive my mail dated on ***?

Now, I'd like to recommend a HOT-SELLING ITEM to you! Another US customer in Chicago gave me a big order in this model. Would you like to have a try in you state?

Please find the photos with manuel in attachment. FREE samples already prepared, and will be sent to you asap.

Hope we can deal!

Kind regards,

C

推薦一款新產(chǎn)品給他，而且告訴他另外一個芝加哥的客人下給我過很大的訂單，希望他也試試。(其實是工廠接過 很大的訂單，不是我，我只是貿(mào)易公司的小業(yè)務(wù)員，當時就借了工廠的名頭忽悠了客人一把)?？腿斯挥信d趣， 后來就要了樣品，再后來就下個單，盡管是幾千美金的小單。

總結(jié)起來就是一句話，如果開發(fā)信沒回復(fù)，不要老是盯著問，你有沒有收到郵件之類的，最好換個方式，找點事情， 保持互動，等到客人回復(fù)了，那機會就好好把握。

案例 24

我新手一名，麻煩幫我改一下開發(fā)信可以嗎?

Dear Chaloem Chingphimai, Good days!

I am Joyce who works for Bosking Power Co.,Ltd which company specializes in brush cutter,mist sprayer and so on.I obtained your business card in 107th canton fair,hope you still remeber me.I have logged inyour website,then write this letter to ask you if you have interest in our products.

Due to many years' experience and professional product knowledge,we can supply you with goodquality products and competetive price.If you have any interest,check our website:http://www.sdbosheng.com or contact me

by E-mail,then I will send you the price list.We sincerely want to establish business relationship withyou. Await to your reply and best wishes for you!

Thank you!

yours faithfully Joyce

發(fā)出去很多，只有兩個客戶回復(fù)還說考慮考慮，我懷疑我的開發(fā)信是不是有問題啊??

太長了哦，而且從句太多了，第一句里面就有 who和 which，連續(xù)兩個定語從句，好復(fù)雜啊，客人會看得很累的哦。 稍微改簡單一些吧:

Dear Chaloem Chingphimai,

Glad to see you on 107th Canton Fair!

This is Joyce from Bosking Power Co., Ltd. We supply brush cutter, mist sprayer, etc. with high quality and low price, with many years experience!

If you have interest, pls visit our website www.sdbosheng.com. Price list will be sent on request! Please contact me for further details. Thank you!

Kind regards, Joyce

案例 25

我是剛做外貿(mào) 2 個月，4 月份有幸去參加了香港的一個展會，回來后就給客戶發(fā)郵件，剛開始我的郵件是很長很長， 這 2 天看了你的帖子后就學著改，可是還是沒有客戶回我的郵。麻煩你幫我改下好嗎?感激不盡!我們的產(chǎn)品是超 聲波清洗機。

Hi P, Good day!

Glad to get your name card from HK fair.

Our products are ULTRASONIC CLEANER!It have powerful cleaning functions!

Ultrasonic is faster,consistent,safe and save money!We are the professional household electricalappliances manufacture!All our products according CE/GS/PSE/RoHS standard!

If you have interest,pls contact me!

Peggy

Sales assistant

你的產(chǎn)品只有出歐洲么?PSE貌似是日本的哦。有沒有去美國的認證?如果有，那就把 UL 也加上。 Hi sir,

Thank you for visiting our booth in HK fair.

Regarding the ULTRASONIC CLEANER you inquired, pls find the pictures with some details in attachment. All the items strictly according to CE/ROHS/GS/PSE!

If needed, we'll be pleased to give you our best offer!

Thanks & best regards, Peggy

案例 26

我也有一個案例。自己通過 google 開發(fā)的一個德國客戶，我們是做醫(yī)療配件的。

客戶要求我們給他做樣品，樣品確認后完成大貨他再付款。但是這不符合我們公司的規(guī)定，我們要求都是客戶付款 了才生產(chǎn)大貨。即便是公司允許，我也覺得客戶的要求無法接受，這樣所有風險都由我們來承擔了。我擔心樣品做 出來客戶不要怎么辦，畢竟這個開發(fā)的投入也是要人力和時間的。大貨做完到了德國他們拒付款我們也沒折...也是 第一次做生意，所以我就回他我們無法接受他們的付款方式，并建議他們先付一半款，我們可以做樣品，確認樣品 后再付另一部分款我們生產(chǎn)大貨。結(jié)果他們說我沒有誠意跟他們做生意，還說這樣是把所有風險轉(zhuǎn)移給他。我覺得 是他沒誠意吧。請你可以參考下面的郵件，并幫忙分析一下原因，謝謝!

Dear Alex,

concerning our conversation I understand, that you do not want to make business with us, because 1. you want to send the cables only to Beijing but not to Germany, Baden-Baden

2. and you want that we carry all the risc of this business alone.

best regards

Michael

Hi Michael,

Hope you're doing well. Sorry for my delay mail. We're recovering work today after the three days off forLabor Days.

Having not received your information for some days, I'd like to know of your feedbacks and we would be pleased if you would let us know your thoughts on the trade term. Thanks for informing us your thoughts on our future cooperation.

Again thanks for your kindly attention and looking forward to hearing from you. Best Regards,

Dear Alex,

1. is the price FOB from Beijing, China to Baden-Baden, Germany?

2. Since this is the first time we deal with a chinese company, I will ask our Board of Trade if the payment is usual. best regards

Michael

Dear Michael,

Please check the below information:

1, That's correct. The price is FOB (Beijing), China as I noted in my previous mail.

2, Sure. We also intended to send you a sample for your checking before the mass production.

3. Regarding the payment, we do understand your situation as it's our first business. We do want to try and work with you, but we can't accept your payment method because our company has policy that our financial department need to confirm customer's payment before we arrange the production, so the best I can do for you is to suggest that you can pay the half amount in advance. When you check and find the sample acceptable, you will transfer the balance payment so I can arrange the production with 100 pcs. Hope you can also understand my situation.

Any question you have, please let me know timely. Best Regards,

Dear Alex,

1. Is the price FOB (free on board)?

2. Testing: Bevor we give you an purchase order, we must test 1 cable. Please send us 1 cable with the

CE certificate

3. Paying: In case the amount is not very big, it is not necessary to decide a LOC (letter of credit) betweenour banks, and we can reduce the expenditure in the way, that we devide our risks in 2 parts: We pay the halfe amount at start up and the second part by receiving the 100 cables.

Best regards

Michael

Dear Michael,

Please kindly note that the delivery date should be 45-50 days after we receive your order and fullpayment. With your any other questions, please let me know timely.

Best Regards,

還有我感覺他老是在 FOB 上說問題，他的問題我也覺得有點模糊了，好像是說讓我們發(fā)到他們當?shù)亓耍沁@樣 就 是 CIF，肯定不是這個價格。依你的理解，他是這個意思嗎?

盼復(fù)，非常感謝!

我算是看明白了，貌似客人并不是很了解 FOB 的含義哦。他覺得你把貨運到北京就不管了，而不是到德國。這個 問題很糾結(jié)，必須要跟他討論清楚。既然郵件里沒法寫明白，可能文化差異，大家溝通和理解方式有問題，最好打 個電話問問看。

關(guān)于付款的問題，其實根據(jù)國際慣例，生產(chǎn)前是需要確認產(chǎn)前樣和大貨樣的，等大貨樣確認以后，客人封樣，然后 以此作為未來交貨時驗貨的根據(jù)!但是目前中國企業(yè)面臨的實際情況是，很多東西要做出大貨樣來，就必須專門制 版，甚至還需要開模具，一旦大貨樣出來了，客人不滿意，那這些投入都白投了。

我以前碰到這樣的堅持要看到大貨樣的客人，就先收訂金，最少最少不得少于貨值的 5%。因為這種斤斤計較的客 人，以及某些對中國企業(yè)防備戒心很大的客人，你要按常規(guī)問他收 30%基本不可能，最好就先按 30%為基礎(chǔ)談判， 然 后慢慢下降，目的是至少要收點錢進來，然后投入費用心里才踏實。即使客人最后不要了，損失也會稍微小一點 點，心里也會好過點，不會有上當受騙的感覺。

如果做 TT，我肯定會注明含多少訂金，但是余款怎么收，我從來不寫!因為你寫了見提單 copy 件，客人或許滿意 或許不滿意，索性不寫!如果客人稀里糊涂簽了 PI，貨做下去了，那我完貨前就拍好照片，問他收錢!因為合同上 沒有寫明啊，我完全可以說，我當初的意思就是多少多少訂金，剩下的發(fā)貨前付清!如果僵在那里，那就退一步， 讓客人再付多少，然后剩余部分見提單復(fù)印件。如果客人實在不愿意，你就裝出很為難的樣子，說盡量跟公司爭取， 最后你告訴他，幫他爭取到最優(yōu)厚的付款條件，公司允許貨物先出，等提單復(fù)印件有了，再收錢。這樣一來，客人 心里會覺得你很能干，做到了他想要做的。

還有，你英文水平很不錯，最下面 4月 27號的郵件寫得最好，上面就一封不如一封了。呵呵，是不是客人談判步 步緊逼，你就越來越亂了?

案例 27

冰大激勵人的水平也是一流的，我每天上班第一時間就來看了。雖然前面有說到開發(fā)信的內(nèi)容，但希望能幫我改一

下。謝謝。

Dear Sir/Madam,

I'm glad to know you,

This is Tracy Lee from GF furniture hardware factory in china.

We are the producer of high quality office furniture , modern classical furniture,metal furniture,eames series furniture,furniture hardware and so on.

I attached our e-catalog for your reference,Any demands please kindly contact with us.Thanks.

Best regards.

呵呵，沒問題，那我就一句一句分析你的開發(fā)信，朋友們也一起看看，是不是還有其他問題。

1)開頭 Dear Sir/Madam，最好不要這樣寫，如果知道客人名字，最好把名字寫上，會給他一種尊重的感覺。即 便 實在不知道名字，知道對方是男是女也行啊，最好就是寫 Dear sir 或 Dear madam，這樣也會舒服點。如果連 對方男女都不好判斷，那就寫 Dear Sir or Madam, 最好不要出現(xiàn)"/"這個符號，客人更容易覺得這是封群發(fā)的模板 郵件。

2)I'm glad to know you. 這句話是有問題的，我知道你想表達的意思，但是這句是典型的 Chinglish，就是中國式 英文，你根據(jù)中文的意思字面翻譯的，但是這句話不這樣說，不能說表達有錯，只能說表達不地道!我相信你從來 不 會從歐美客人的郵件里發(fā)現(xiàn)這句話的。如果你見過這個客人，可以說“Glad to see you in Shenzhen.”或“Glad to see youin Canton Fair”，或者 “Thank you for visiting our company!”等等表達方式，或者干脆用"Glad to write to you!"，盡量 用歐美人的寒暄方式，不要用中國式問候硬翻成英文，很別扭的。

3)This is Tracy Lee from GF furniture hardware factory in china. 這句話沒錯，但是為了突出工廠，最好寫成GF Furniture Hardware Factory.

4)We are the producer of high quality office furniture, modern classical furniture, metal furniture, eames series furniture, furniture hardware and so on. 這句話是不是有點長?如果要寫長句，最好用一下從句，結(jié)構(gòu)上會比較 分明，看上去 舒服一點。另外 producer 這個詞我個人覺得，視覺沖擊力沒有 manufacturer 強。當然這只是我個 人看法。

5)I attached our e-catalog for your reference, 首先這是一整句話，最后要用句號，不是逗號。還有，你郵件里第 一人 稱太多了，先是 I，再是 We，現(xiàn)在又是 I 開頭的句子，句型太單調(diào)了，會讓看的人覺得很無聊。如果換成 "Attached our e-catalogue for your reference!"或者"Enclosed our e-catalogue for your review!"是不是會稍微好一

點?

6)Any demands please kindly contact with us. 一開始就談“ 需求” 是不是太直接了?如果換成有任何問題，請 隨時 聯(lián)系我們，會不會更加委婉一些?

好了，根據(jù)以上的分析，我重新寫一下，看看是不是比原文有一點進步了:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Glad to write to you! This is Tracy Lee from GF Furniture Hardware Factory in China.

We're the MANUFACTURER of high quality furniture with competitive price! Such as office furniture, modern classic furniture, metal furniture, hardwares, etc.

Attached our e-catalogue for your reference! Quotation sheet will be provided at once if needed. Any questions, pls do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you!

Best regards, Tracy Lee